Soul and Maka: Hey, Stupid Soul
by TsunTsunSama
Summary: Ok people. I promise this time I'll finish it, but I was getting really annoyed with how freaking ANGSTY I was writing it. I hate angst. This was supposed to be funny and cute and got annoying. So it's been mildly redone in the form of Linked. Go read that.
1. Caught in an Annoying Bromance

Soul stares in amazement. How has he never noticed this before? Kid is gorgeous. Like, drop dead gorgeous. Those tight black jeans, that perfect ass, it's amazing. Then he shakes his head. What the fuck was that?

"Mr Soul?" Asks one of the little monsters. "What were you going to say?" Soul, realizing he had just paused his lecture to stare at his friends butt, glares in annoyance.

"I was going to say to pay better attention when I'm lecturing. Fighting isn't a game, and you may need to be able to do it without a Meister. Now practice it again. One limb into a blade." To demonstrate, his arm shifts and flows into the blade of a scythe. It always feel like it's asleep, which is not cool, but man does it scare the little monsters into action. With varying degrees of success, their bodies shine and morph into different bits of weapons. A little red haired girl really got it, consistently changing her fingers into long spikes, and Soul promotes her to instruct the class then and there to show everyone else how it's done. The others... aren't quite teachers aide material. One kid sprouts a hammer head from his nose, and falls over with a thud as his head overbalances.

"Crunch." The boy screams in pain. He has just broken the nose. Wonderful.

"Practice until I get back." Soul calls, not expecting anything of the sort from a bunch of eight year olds. He scoops up the injured one and jog for the infirmary. Today was definitely a good day to be drinking night. Wait. Kid is going to be there. This may not work out so well after all. Oh well. At least if there are drunken confessions of man love, he's fully equipped to slit his throat afterwards. The way today was going, he just might. Kid was the third guy Soul had admired so far, and this was his seventh hour of teaching. Soul sighs in annoyance, shifting the little kid into a more comfortable position. Domestic troubles, he suddenly realizes, are far far worse than battling evil gods. And he should know, he helped kill one. But it's nothing compared to the pain of realizing you've been staring at some guys ass for the past minute in front of a class of midgets. Nothing.


	2. Drinking Night

They arrive at the bar late. It's around ten o'clock and heavy drinking seems to be in order. Black Star, Kid, and Soul take up their usual positions.

"The usual?" Asks the bartender, Mac. They all nod. He slips out several shot glasses and starts filling them.

"So hows teaching going?" Soul asks. Black Star shrugs.

"None of them are on my level."

"Of course they aren't." Kid replies, arranging his glasses in a perfect line. He even takes a ruler out of his pocket to check for absolute symmetry. "They're eight."

"Hah! At eight years old I was already a master of the ninja arts!" Black Star declares. Kid and Black Star continue on like that, bickering away. Soul listens out of boredom, mostly here because Kid was paying. Finally, an hour later, they get off the bar and slip into booths. No chance of falling off.

"Hey guys." Soul asks, his smashed brain vaguely attempting to come up with some delicate way to say this. It fails, and he goes for the direct approach. "Has anything weird happened today? Like, I just stared at you-" Soul says, pointing a finger in Kid's general direction "for like a minute. Because I thought you were like, absolutely gorgeous." Black Star almost manages to fall over he laughs so hard.

"You're gay? For this emo loser?" He cackles. "I could understand me, but him! Oh this is great!" Cue terminal embarrassment. Suicide in five, four, three, two-

"Actually I would have to agree with him." Kid mutters in a perfectly intelligible voice. His status as a minor god keeps him from getting drunk, and he mostly comes because Black Star is amusing. "I noticed a burning pain all day from here" He gestures to his stomach "to here." He indicates his...

"Thats not ok." Soul mutters. "Please never point to your crotch around me again." They both wait for Black Star to make a gay joke, but instead he looks thoughtful.

"You know, I actually might know what you idiots are talking about. Today I just thought I was a lot more awesome than usual." The idiot laughs. "But then again, I am going to surpass god. Why wouldn't I think I was the greatest?"

"Waitaminute." Soul slurs. "It's like... it's like Kid's got random crotch pain, I'm admiring other dudes butts, and Black Star... feels awesome or whatever." They ponder the implications. "It's like someone is messing with our minds or something." Kid stands and leads Black Star out of the bar.

"A very interesting idea. I'll look into it." Kid says as he heads out the door. "Can you get home on your own?"

"Yeah yeah. Of course." Soul replies.

"Very well then. We should meet up tomorrow and discuss this."

"Sure." Soul waves him off. Home is only two blocks. He would have to be asleep not to be able to get there. Maybe he could ask Maka about this crap. She knew... well. Close enough to everything. Soul stands up and staggers out. Time to ask the human encyclopedia about his bromance. Wonderful.


	3. Where Have You Been

"Where have you been!" Maka demands from the couch when Soul staggers in, stinking of alcohol.

"Drinking night. Remember?" He mutters, sinking down on the couch opposite the girl. She sighs.

"Well, I wish you had been back sooner. There's something weird going on."

"Do tell." Soul mumbles, rubbing his head. But she detects a note of interest in his voice.

"Tsubaki and I were over with Liz and Patty. And we start getting really... everything got sorta slow and a lot funnier. Tsubaki had it a lot worse than I did." Maka glares at the wall. "She tripped and fell down the stairs. But Liz and Patty didn't have anything. They had to drive us home we felt so bad."

"Ok this is too weird." Soul mutters.

"Huh? What is it?"

"We all noticed something odd. Kid had this awful crotch pain, Black Star was... well. More in love with himself than usual is how he put it." Maka has a good guess at what's coming next, and she turns a wonderful shade of scarlet. "And I stared at Kid. Like, the ah... interested way." Maka buries her head in her hands.

"It's almost like... we're resonating or something." She mumbles at last.

"That would make sense..." Soul replies thoughtfully. "Here. Brief test." With a quick motion he pinches himself hard.

"Gah!" Maka yelps. "Don't do that!" Soul stares at the ceiling and groans.

"Fucking great. Have you heard of something like this before?" The girl shakes her head. Then Soul turns bright red.

"Wait. Then Kid..."

"Don't even think about it!" Maka warns him, too late.

"That's disgusting. Like, seriously uncool." Then his face gets pale and he stares at Maka. "Um... so will I..."

"If you ask, you die." She mutters, raising a dictionary that had been on the desk. He holds up his hands.

"Yeah yeah..."

"We really need to fix this. Soon." The 'soon' bit seemed ominous. The girl gets up and comes back with a telephone. "I'm calling Stein." She dials and waits. "Hello? Professor? We have a bit of a problem..."


	4. We're Off To See The Professor

An hour later, everyone is at the professors house. Marie brings up chairs for Black Star and Tsubaki, who can barely stand. Kid, Liz, and Patty lean against one wall while Maka and Soul occupy the couch.

"Oh yes, this happens." Stein tells them, scribbling furiously on a notepad as he does. "And unfortunately for you all, there isn't any way to reverse the process."

"So we're going to be like this forever?" Maka and Soul demand. Stein nods.

"It only happens between a high level weapon and a powerful Meister who uses that weapon for an extended amount of time." He points at Liz, Patty, Tsubaki, and Soul. "All of you made Death Scythe sometime over the course of the battle with Asura. It isn't surprising this happened. And yes, you will." He continues writing as he speaks.

"Pardon me, but if you knew something, why didn't you mention it earlier?" Kid asks. Stein grins madly.

"Because, we needed you to be working as a team. Lord Death decided that this outcome was an acceptable loss for killing Asura." Kid nods.

"That is reasonable." Surprisingly, he seems satisfied.

"Um, professor?" Maka pipes up. "Two things. We don't seem to be resonating as well as normal. Like, we aren't actually hearing each other's thoughts. But strong emotions and sensations are coming through. Why is that? And also, what are you writing?" Stein leans back in his rolling chair.

"It will never be as good as actual resonance. However, with time, you may pick up on finer details. There's the first question. And as for the second, Marie asked me to record observations of others to stimuli. She claims it may help me understand people better." He shrugs. "I don't see the point, but I suppose I'll have to put up with it." Then he stands and gestures towards the door. "Now, if you'll all leave. We were having a late dinner and we don't have enough for everybody, which is apparently rude."

"So is telling people to leave." Soul mutters. But one by one, everybody files out the door, except Black Star and Tsubaki, who have to be woken up. They leave with Kid. Maka and Soul, being closer, just walk.

"It's really cold tonight." Maka murmurs, shivering. Soul shrugs out of his black leather jacket and puts it on her shoulders.

"Here. Take this. I'll be fine." When the jacket settles around her, Maka feels something from Soul, warm and soft and caring. Now what was that all about? But by the time they get in, she's forgotten all about it. The only thing that matters anymore is bed. Stupid Soul. He was going to give her a hangover.


	5. Hangover

Maka wakes up feeling great empathy for anyone who had ever had nails pounded through their skull. She did not, however, have any kindness in her heart for moronic hung over roommates.

"I really hate him." She mutters as she blearily pulls a change of clothes out of her dresser and heads for the bathroom. It was ridiculous that she should have to suffer his hangover. Maka turns the cold water on, having heard it's a cure for drinking stuff. Ten minutes later she comes out having decided it's nothing of the sort, and has only made her absolutely freezing in addition to miserable. Stupid Soul. She sighs and decides to check on him. It wasn't his fault, in a way, despite how very much she wants justified feelings of revenge. She knocks on the door and opens it.

"Urgh. Drop a dictionary while you're at it." Soul grumbles.

"No complaining out of you." Maka replies, standing by the foot of the bed. "I'm being nice. Don't make me regret it."

"Mmm." Soul growls, blearily sitting up. His spiked hair looks awful, frizzy with static electricity and disarray. His eyes are rimmed with the same color as the pupils, making his face look even worse. Maka feels mild sympathy pangs.

"You want food?"

"Er. Uh. Yeah. That sounds good. Would you uh... lemme alone for a moment?"

"Yeah sure." Maka mutters, slipping out. She hears running water, and wonders what he could be up to. Rooting around in the fridge, Maka comes up with bacon, eggs, fruit, and yogurt. Well, it's a start. Soul comes staggering out holding a drenched, freezing towel to his head just as Maka starts the making a smoothie. She can feel a burst of pain at the sudden noise, and finishes quickly.

"Smells great." He mumbles with an attempt at cheerful. There's some warm, fuzzy feeling Maka can feel behind the pounding waves of agony in his head. What did he have to be so cheerful about?

"Sit down, I'll bring it out."

"Great. I'm starved." A few minutes later there's a steaming plate of food for them both. With the intensity of possible insanity, Soul attacks the food, and within minutes asks-"You gonna eat that?" Pointing his fork at her plate. Maka isn't hungry so she pushes the remainder over and watches as it vanishes.

"That... was impressive." She comments as he leans back, finished.

"Eh. That was bacon is more like it." He looks hopefully into the kitchen. "You sure there's no more?"

"Yes. Pretty sure."

"Well, thanks. It helped a lot." Maka can feel a slight relief from him, but nothing huge. He was just putting on a brave face. As usual.

"I'm going to lie down or something. Your stupid hangover is killing me."

"Yeah... sorry." He's still sitting there when Maka clears the dishes off and collapses in her bedroom. A few minutes later, she manages sleep.


	6. Pillow Talk, Maybe

"Augh! What are you doing!" Maka squeaks. Soul. Is. In. Her. Bed.

"I was sleeping." He mumbles from right by her head. Irritated, Maka hits him with a pillow.

"You know, you could ask or something!"

"You were asleep."

"I would rather be woken up!" But he looks so pitiful that Maka sighs and says- "I guess you can stay. But don't do anything weird!"

"Yeah yeah..." Maka tries to fall back asleep. But it really wasn't working. At all. What was he doing here! Gah! Awkwardly, she shifts away from him a bit. Just... too weird. And what was with his strange background cheerfulness? What did he have to be happy about, dammit! Maka couldn't take the burning curiosity any more.

"Hey Soul."

"Mmph."

"You've been so cheerful and I know you're feeling awful. What happened? I mean, you never seem this happy."

"There's a question..." He mutters, and sits up to rest his aching skull on the headboard. "Let's say there was this person, right? You spend all your damn time thinking about them and have no idea if they even give two shits." He shrugs absently. "Maybe it's pretty cool when you finally know they do." Maka stares, puzzled.

"Who are you talking about?" That gets her a flat stare.

"Really? Are you this clueless?"

"Well I guess so! Tell me!"

"Why." That makes Maka think, and she chews her bottom lip. Why did she care? Because it kind of felt like he was... in love. Because if that's true she wanted him to be happy with whoever it was. He was her partner. They had to look out for eachother.

"I dunno. You've seemed like a totally different person. Like you finally have something to be happy about I guess? And if that's true, well, I want to know. I mean, we've looked out for eachother all the way through you making Death Scythe. I just... want to know what's up is all." She finishes lamely, blushing furiously. What was happening to her?

"Wait... hahahahah!" Soul bursts into laughter, then winces. "Ow. Fuck hangovers." He's amused. And making fun of her. Maka raises a nearby book to beat him with, and he holds up his hands in a gesture of defense. "Whoa whoa whoa. Not like that. You're just acting like a grade schooler confessing to her crush." He snorts. "It's just too damn funny."

"You still haven't answered my question!" Maka replies, her face catching flame. With a slow, lazy motion, he bops her on the head.

"I was talking about you, idiot." Maka's shocked. How... what... apparently her mouth started making similar noises because Soul starts talking again. "You're just... important ok?" He's blushing. She's blushing. This. Is hell.

"Explain." She demands. Maybe she misunderstood. It isn't like he was making any sense at all... maybe she's just confused.

"Short version? I really like you. You're just a cool person. Half the time you seem like you know every damn thing ever and you make me feel like an idiot, and the rest of the time you're like this adorable little innocent child. You're great with people and an amazing Meister and hilarious without even being able to tell a single joke. There. Explained. Happy?" He's confused and blabbering and immediately regretting opening his mouth at all.

"But... but..." The girl gives up. "You like me?"

"But... but... are you fuckin deaf? What did I just say?" He's mocking her. And Maka still hasn't gotten over the fact that they're having this conversation in her bed. She sort of squeaks. How should she respond? Did she want to turn him down? No. No she definitely didn't want to do that. Tell him she would think on it? Tell him how she felt? "Well make up your mind." He mutters, and she realizes he's getting her whirlwind of emotion broadcast into his head. This was a nightmare.

"I... uh... um..." She tries words. They are not working. Each one is replaced with a random muttering noise, and she gives up.

"Oh to hell with it." He bends over towards her. Maka tries to ask 'Wait! What are you doing!'

"Uh... aaah!" He's kissing her. Why is he kissing her? More importantly, why isn't she doing anything about it! No! Stop! After a few seconds her body starts responding to her frantic commands, and she pushes him off.

"What was that!"

"A better explanation." He replies, licking his lips. Then he smirks. "You didn't seem to mind." Maka decides to introduce his head to the hardback book on the nightstand. Big mistake. His pain roars into her head as the combination of a hangover and a forceful introduction to the complete works of Shakespeare shock him into near unconsciousness. Maka blinks stars out of her eyes. She's fallen over. On. Top. Of. Him.

"Gah!" She squeaks, jerking back.

"Did you really have to..." Soul moans, clutching his head.

"You were being a jerk!"

"You're in almost as much pain as I am." Glaring, Maka rubs her head.

"I didn't think it through, ok?"

"Yeah. I got that. Pounded into my head." He growls out. Then he sighs. "Ugh. I suppose I deserved it." He gives her a wry glance. "Though you kinda didn't. Feeling ok?"

"Um. Yes?" Neither of them are sure how to continue the previous conversation, despite both desperately wanting to. "So..." Maka finally attempts. Soul leans back and closes his eyes.

"Look. I'm sorry. I won't bring it up any more. That what you want?" He sounds chill, but the girl can feel waves of bitter anger rolling off him.

"Um... I was ah... going to say something a little different..." He perks up almost immediately.

"Oh. Shoot." He tries to be casual and fails miserably.

"Well... I um-" Maka turns bright red. "theres..."

"Look, are you gonna spit it out or not." Maka glares.

"I'm trying! Don't interrupt! This is hard enough!" She pauses again, then starts talking almost too fast to hear. "I've sorta not known how to feel about you for a while and the whole thing earlier felt really nice and I'm sorry for pushing you and... would you um..."

"Damn. It really is like you're twelve." He mutters. But he's interested. Hopeful. What's he feeling from her? She wishes she knew.

"Um... uh..." Soul sighs in exasperation, moves over, and wraps strong warm soft his arms around her.

"Better?"

"Mmm." Maka snuggles in closer, then twists to look at him. "Would you..." His breath tickles as he moves in closer, nibbling and biting her ears, her neck. Maka almost whimpers. Too much, too fast, this was going too fast. But she finds herself responding, kissing him back, her lips and teeth tracing the line of his jaw. His hands brush her face, trailing to her lips and she opens, suckling and biting his finger. After a moment he slips them out and goes for the real kiss. Their lips lock and they push together. At first, Maka isn't really sure what to do, but she follows Soul's lead, belatedly realizing tongues aren't just supposed to sit there. It's perfect and warm and nothing like she expected and when they finally break apart she's almost panting. Ok, control. Don't act twelve or whatever. Soul gives her an affectionate, amused smile.

"Fuckin finally." He murmurs, and they lie down together, her body draped across his scarred chest.

"Mmph. Shuddup." Maka replies. That was... before she can even analyze it a million worries stampede through her head. Is she ready? Should they do this? What happens if they break up? What happens if, should they, can she, one after the other.

"Don't." Soul tells her.

"Don't what?"

"Overthink it, brainiac." She tries to say something, to ask 'what if' but he puts a hand over her mouth. "No buts. Or butts." He says, squeezing hers. Then he cackles. "Immunity, remember. You can't hit me back!" Angrily she rolls off.

"Jerk."

"Ah c'mon. I'm sorry." He laughs, full throated and elated. "I'm just like... so fuckin happy right now. Don't be mad." Through their bond his joy is infectious, and Maka finds herself grinning.

"Ok, fine." She says, scooching back over. "What should I do instead of worry then, if you're so smart."

"Uh, not worry? I don't know, the whole 'being chill' shit comes naturally. You should just try and be more like me." Maka snorts.

"Yeah right. I would love to get regular hangovers and be a complete idiot all the time."

"Well, I'm not the one panicking like a twelve year old." They rest for a while, listening to each others breathing. Then slowly, they start to drift off. Maka's mind sluggishly races. She's in bed with a guy. That she kissed. And she didn't care at all. Well, they were teaching now. It wasn't like they had potentially fatal responsibilities. Maybe... maybe this could work. But she definitely needed to work on the kissing thing. Maka felt she had been pretty bad at it. Maybe there was... a book to read or something... yeah. She could find that... later...


	7. Chapter 7

Ok people. I promise this time I'll finish it, but I was getting really annoyed with how freaking ANGSTY I was writing it. I hate angst. This was supposed to be funny and cute and got annoying. So it's been mildly redone in the form of Linked. Go read that. And I would love people to send me some reviews. I think it's better, but is there anything from this story you want put back? Name a scene or whatever and I'll try to work it in somehow. So send reviews! Or post! As usual, I don't care. But go read!


	8. An Important Letter

This is a general message to fans of my romance stuff. I know, I'm a terrible person, I never write the stories you love. But! There is news! I've finally perfected the story I have been trying to write (and it only took four tries) and I know a lot of you will be disappointed in me but please! Don't be mad! Check it out! It had everything you loved about the others, and if it doesn't, please please please message me with what it needs and I will try and include it! So if you would all look at my new thingamabob, and especially give me feedback on it. Review or PM, as usual. I don't care as long as I know how you like it or how you don't.

Very sorry for being a difficult writer to be a fan of, TsunTsunSama


	9. Community

Also, I've started a community. If anyone cares, PM me and I will add you. Because I want all the good Soul Eater stories collected and to be honest, I'm way too focused on my own to go hunting. But I know I have dedicated readers here! Please, I just want an easy place to find stuff. Adding anybody and everybody who wants to do it. Go for it people!


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